Whatsurname???

Today's topic goes out to all the parents out there who like unusual names.

I'm all for unique names. One thing I hate, though, is when people give their kids normal names with ridiculous spelling. I.E., Schuyler instead of Skylar, Ashleigh instead of Ashley, Jessye instead of Jessie or Jesse. The list goes on. Why do people do this? Is it supposed to be cool? Rare? Exotic? Well, it's just annoying. How long does it take for those kids to learn how to spell their names?

Weird spelling doesn't make the name any less common. There are a million gazillion Ashley's in the world, no matter how you spell it. If you want a rare name, give them a rare name. Not some outrageously configured mouthful that no one can remember how to spell.

Some names should be illegal. Names that are just plain awful. There should be a law preventing parents from giving their kids names that will cause them problems later in life. (Celebrities could learn a thing or two from this.) Seriously. Apple? Why would you name anyone Apple? I wouldn't even name my hamster Apple. And Barbara. I can't stand that name. Or Dorothy, Penelope, Phoebe, Marguerite, Gertrude, Mary, Mildred, Hortence Maud, Bob, Gaylord, Albert, Wallace, Walter, Paul, Chauncey, Maury, Perry, Berry, or Wilfred. They may not be that bad to some people, but I can't stand the way they sound.

However, I love Rosalyn, Siobhan, Geneva, Lucretia, Minerva, Cale, Sophronia, Mercy, Lorena, a lot of 17th century English names. My favorite guy names would be Lucian, Jasper, Vincent, Alonzo, Horatio, Demitrius, Jack, Jesse, Levi, Simon, Cyrus, Adrianus, Kade, and Deidrich.

I also like River for a girl's name. And Willow. They sound pretty.

I've heard of a girl named Temptress. And she wasn't attractive. Irony.

I've noticed that unnecessary apostrophes are becoming more popular. Like D'eva. That's not a name. Why don't you spell it D-I-V-A? And A'isha. WTH is the apostrophe for? Aisha or Asia looks much better. The apostrophe serves no purpose. It's just an obnoxious embellishment. Knock it off. Unless the name really does require an apostrophe because of the language, don't add one. Jeez.