Animal Planet's Untamed & Uncut: Morons On National Television.

I have a love-hate relationship with this show. Sometimes there are freak accidents, but there are endless videos showing "accidents" that were caused by human stupidity and could have easily been avoided.

This video in particular pisses me off to no end. Most of you have probably seen it. There's just nothing right with any part of it, other than the fact that the dickweed rider got what was coming to her.

Woman Crushed By Horse.

That was completely, one-hundred percent her fault. Number one: she neglected to keep her horse's teeth floated. Those sharp edges wouldn't have been there in the first place if her teeth were floated. That whole thing would have never happened if she'd taken proper care of her poor mare. Number two: she KNEW beforehand that her horse wasn't acting right. That should have been a huge red flag. But instead, she ignored her horse's warning and overlooked her welfare for the sake of a fancy belt buckle. There's a saying that I absolutely love: a good rider can hear his horse speak, a great rider can hear his horse whisper, but a bad rider won't hear his horse even if it screams at him. And it couldn't be more true.

The narrator cracks me up. "Barrel horses are specifically trained not to spook. So what scared Bee-Bee?"

The horse wasn't scared, you dolt. She was pissed and in pain. She never spooked.

And finally, there's the fact that Miss Natalie was hauling back on the reins like a banshee once Bee-Bee really started tossing her head. That is one of the last things you want to do in a situation like that. It would have been obvious to an educated horse person that the horse's mouth was hurting. So what does Natalie do? She goes a-yankin' away, trying to stop her horse from going crazy. Does that seem counterproductive to anyone else? I would have flipped over too, if I was Bee-Bee! No freaking wonder. Thank God the horse wasn't seriously injured.

You now what, Natalie? Whatever pain you caused your horse, I hope she paid it back tenfold. It was your fault and it could have been avoided if you weren't such a moron.

I love how he says, "she's now a calm and happy trail horse," right when it shows her tossing her head and chewing at the bit. That's calm and happy? In what universe? And it's no wonder. Did you see that leverage bit and the short reins?

One last thing. At the end, Natalie says, "Horses are animals, and animals do things sometimes that you just don't expect."

After all that, she doesn't learn a thing. That fiasco should have been a major learning experience. She honestly didn't expect anything to go wrong when she knew there was something wrong with her horse? She shouldn't have been surprised at all. She deserved every one of those 400 stitches, and she doesn't seem to realize it. HELL-O! Stupidity at it's finest. Way to go, Natalie. You made an ass of yourself on national television.

Moving on. This one I find just plain hysterical. This guy could be a Darwin Award candidate.

Crocodile Death Roll.

The part I don't understand? Everybody is shocked. No one can figure out why the croc clamped down on the dude's arm (you'll know if you've seen the rest of the show). Hey dude, I'm no genius, but I can tell you that the croc bit you because you stuck your arm in his mouth.

You could see the croc was sitting there with his mouth wide open thinking, "I'm just waiting for this shnuck to do something stupid..." Sure enough, WHAM. He gets nailed and almost gets his arm torqued off. Well, I'll be damned.

Serves you right, you idiot.

OK, one more just for giggles.

Shark Bites Diver.

I have one thing to say: What the fuck were you thinking? A three year old could have told you that kissing a shark is a bad idea. You are just stuck on stupid, aren't you?

*headdesk*headdesk*headdesk*