"Now I say that with cruelty and oppression it is everybody's business to interfere when they see it."

~Anna Sewell

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Please tell me this is a draft cross.

I don't think he is, though. The ad says he's full Arabian. It doesn't say anything about being crossbred.

Because that creature is absolutely the fattest Arabian I've ever seen in my life. Look at that poor horse. His head doesn't match the rest of his body. I thought Norman was overweight. Christ love.

Somebody get that horse on a diet. Take him off grain and put him on a workout routine. That's awful. He's going to end up with some major health issues if they don't get his weight under control. They're not loving their horse any by feeding him too much. I think he's be lovely if he was a normal weight. It looks like he has a nice head and neck. You can't really tell further because of the chub. It looks like he's just been a pasture ornament but being fed like a performance horse. Good lordy. Somebody buy this horse and liposuction some fat out of him and transplant it into a few rescue horses. This is crazy.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Yes, I'm picking on WP and HUS again.

This one is painful to watch. Horses moseying around the arena at a painfully slow pitter-patter, barely lifting their feet up more than 2 centimeters off the ground at any given time. Do they even have a pulse?

When you take pictures of a horse and you can't tell if he's is trotting or cantering, there's something wrong. And when the rider's legs are so straight they almost make a perfect "V". I don't know how they keep their balance in those buckets. I found this article really good. Hmm... where have you heard that before? And WP people say that it's a natural gait. In reality, it's nothing but a trend. A fashion statement. The article really puts it into perspective.

WP people also say you can see babies going at that stick-legged pace.

Have you ever seen a colt or filly puttering around a wide open pasture like an old jalopy with his/her head at knee height? I never have. I see baby horses running around like ecstatic maniacs. Never in my life seen a nerve-dead foal. Does this filly look like those robotic zombies? She looks pretty lively to me. Won't stay that way for long if she's bought by a WP rider/trainer, but you get my point.

How about Hunter Under Saddle? Their equitation is hideous. The horses look half dead. It's an English hunter class. The horse's head shouldn't be lolling down by his knees. Nor should they be heavy on the forehand or have next to zero impulsion. Look at this. Draping reins. Every single one of them. Did they forget that it's an English class? There's supposed to be a straight line from your elbow, through your forearm, to the reins and to the horse's mouth. In that video, I see a languid, puppy-pawed mess. I just got back from a judging seminar. I know for a fact that that's not desirable. But the judges have to place somebody. They make their selections from the lesser of the evils. It goes back to that article on Western Pleasure. It all correlates. It's a trend. There's nothing elegant or beautiful about it.

I also agree that judging standards should be reformed. I really hope some much-needed changes will be made and the show industry might take a step in the right direction.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Self - taught riders?

I'm under the firm belief that horseback riding isn't something you can teach yourself. English riding, at least. I can see where one could pick up on western riding by watching and practicing.

But English is too complex. How would you know that the majority of your weight should be down in your heels and you should be supporting yourself in the saddle? How would you know if your seat is correct and you're giving proper rein and leg aids? You can't learn that stuff by watching videos on Youtube or going to a million shows. I can't imagine anybody being a halfway decent rider without any lessons.

There was a lady at my barn who had an Arabian stallion. She's a saddleseat rider and she boasted that she'd never had a lesson in her life. I never saw her ride, but I don't know how she could be that good if she's never had lessons. My farrier said he never took lessons, either. He's more of a cowboy, though. Again, never seen him ride, but I think I'd be scared to. He said he put bullriding spurs on a misbehaving horse one time. O.o

I think a lot of people don't bother with lessons. This scares me for the horse's sake. I'm sure there are people who've been riding for two weeks and decide to start barreling over oxers. Yikes.

You have to have someone teaching you. There's no ther way to do it. The noobish-looking riders featured here look like they need to go back to lunge lessons. If they've ever had any kind of instruction at all. Which I doubt.

Monday, March 23, 2009

I thought I'd heard them all.

People come up with the most ridiculous excuses to get rid of their pets. God almighty. I can't believe how pathetic and callous these jokers are.

Year and a half old. Neutered, litterbox trained, has not been declawed but has the soft paws covers on front. Very sweet cat and is an excellant mouser. Recently got into my sons mice and killed 3 out of 6. He will no longer leave the mouse cage alone. And my son hates him. Asking a rehoming fee of $50 to make sure he goes to a good home.

You're getting rid of your cat because he ate your son's mice? That's messed up on a number of levels.

First off, it's common knowledge that cats like to eat mousies. Ever watched Tom and Jerry? That would give you a clue. Did that little detail ever cross your mind before you bought the mice? Apparently not.

Second, it's perfectly obvious that the mice are more important to you than your cat. This is what I just can't understand. A few mice versus a cat. Mice live two or three years, live in a cage, squeak, eat, poop, and that's it. They can't compare to a cat (at least to most people). Why are you not getting rid of the mice instead?

Furthermore, your unfortunate little mouse massacre could have been avoided. I've always had at least two cats. I've also had a hamster, a gerbil, parakeets, and a bunny. Cats like to eat all those things. Not once did a cat ever harm those animals. It is not hard to keep the rodent cage away from the cats. Put it up on a dresser or shelf. Make sure the cage is secured and shut tight. You can hang a bird cage from the ceiling of you don't have a stand. Keep the cage in a room where you can shut the door. Normally, a cat won't even be able to open a cage if it's secured properly. That incident was your own damn fault.

But, if it's that big of an issue and you can't possibly keep the mice from getting eaten, I would just give them away. Either that or let them go in a field somewhere. If the kid doesn't like it, too freakin bad. I would never put a rodent before my cats. That's just messed up.

Someone doesn't know how to control children.

Re-Homing kitten $1.00 adoption fee. female born Dec. 23rd. Must find new home A.S.A.P. my grandchildren are terrorizing this poor little thing!!! She is a sweet kitten who does like to play. Just a little shy due to the kids, I believe. Please Call Tammy XXX-XXXX

You know what you do with bratty little trolls who aggravate animals? You spank them. Hard. You don't have to get rid of your kitty (who is freaking adorable!). You need to teach your grandkids to be nice to animals, especially ones that are much smaller and more fragile than them.

Hell, I'd get rid of the kids before I give the kitten away. I can't stand misbehaving children.
I hope someone nice takes this little cutie home.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Get off and carry the horse yourself, fatass.

I have a major problem with people who ride horses that are too small for them. I saw this chick on TV, who obviously wasn't a horseperson, sitting on a small, maybe 15hh horse. This chick was big. Like, 250-300 pounds big. Is it any wonder why the horse kicked her off? This aggravates me to no end. First of all, how the hell do you ride when you're that big? Second of all, she looked like a manatee sitting on one of those plastic, toddler-sized rocking horses. Jeezus.

Full sized adults should never ever ride a mini horse. Ever. That's just wrong. Not even kids. The only human being that should ever be on a mini's back would be a 20 pound child going for a pony ride. I hate it when people think it's funny to hop on a Shetland pony. It's not funny. You're making an ass of yourself and I'll be laughing my ass off when the pony kicks your sorry hide into next week. You might as well just ride a Labrador Retriever. It's not like they're that much different in size.

Now some people believe that minis should never be ridden. I wouldn't go so far as to say that, but I definitely think they should never carry anything more than a really little child. They're great for halter and driving classes. If you're dying to do something with your mini, get a cart and start practicing! Not a hard concept.

Do you need an example of what is acceptable and what is not?
I don't have any issues with this picture. It's a good sized mini with a small kid. It looks proportionate. I don't think the horse has any problem carrying the rider.

Now this one is just plain disgusting. She's gonna need roller skates pretty soon. I bet she had to step down to get on him. Seriously, that broad is three times the size of the horse she's riding. It's not funny. It's not cute. You could end up hurting the poor horse with your over sized ass on his back. GET OFF. Get yourself a bigger horse. Or better yet, just don't get another horse. Keep your ass off of them altogether.

I HATE it when these idiots whip out the ol' "Ponies are stronger than horses" excuse. That does not mean it's ok to plop an adult onto a Shetland pony! What's the matter with you people? Why would you think it's fine to hop on a miniature horse and go for a cruise? Not a good horse to human ratio. Get off and carry the horse yourself, you dumb heifer.

And, for the riders of the larger variety, I sincerely hope you picked your mount well. Horses can safely carry about 20% of their body weight. Keep that in mind. Draft horses and draft crosses make lovely mounts. I would really recommend them if you're on the big side.

I have a few guidelines that I like to follow. And I think a lot of people I mentioned today would do well to take them into consideration.

1. Your horse's withers should ideally be up to your collarbone (not your knees). This can fluctuate with the rider's weight, and it doesn't have to be exact.

2. If the circumference of your waist is equal to or greater than your horse's girth, get the hell off and find yourself a bigger horse!

3. Remember the 20% rule. A 1000 lb horse can carry about 200 lbs. A 400 lb pony should carry no more than 80 lbs.

I'm letting you know in advance, if I see you on a mini horse, I will feed you to Norman.
I'm protecting the little horses. I can kill legally.

Danger lurks.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Cat Breeders.

Someone restrain me. But WTF is this creature? Am I the only one who doesn't think this is cute?

These Munchkin cats go for $600 a piece! Who in their right mind pays $600 for a cat? A mutant cat, at that. This really torques me because there are hundreds upon hundreds of cats in shelters with their days numbered if no one takes them home. And even more on the streets.

I'm a frequent visitor at the Animal Control here. Their cages are always at maximum capacity and they're practically falling over backwards to get these cats homes. You walk in and see three dozen healthy, beautiful, normally- proportioned kitty cats staring up at you with these big sad eyes and it's enough to rip your heart out. Hundreds of cats are put down every year in my city alone. It's bad enough breeding dogs like crazy, but cats? Their numbers are out of control.

Why pay hundreds of dollars for a disfigured weenie cat when you can pick a healthy one up off the street for free? I see tons of kittens running around in alleys all the time. If you want a cat, adopt a homeless one! If you find a stray one, that's fantastic. If you adopt one from a shelter, great. Adoption fees run at about $40. That's $40 versus $600.

Munchkins aren't the healthiest cats in the world. And they can't even do the things normal cats do, like jump up on the sofa or run around and chase birds.

All of my cats, with the exception of Annabel (who is from a shelter) have been straight off the streets. They make amazing pets. Miss Kitty was thrown out by her owners in the middle of winter -while pregnant- and she had to sit on top of the dog house otherwise the dog would chase her. She'd had a litter before, and the damn dog had killed one of her kittens. We took her home, and she had her kittens days later. That was when I was little, and now she's about 17. Best cat I've ever had. She's just perfect. Living proof that adopted cats are the best ones you can get.

Anyway, back to breeding.
I find the breeding of "Twisty Cats" particularly disturbing, even more so than Munchkins.

These poor creatures have no use of their front legs whatsoever. Their legs are about three inches long and the only way they can get around is to hop or scoot on their back legs.

But isn't this kyoot??? Look at those little bitty legs!

Bagh. That's cruel, that's what it is. There's nothing attractive about it.

This is likely the height of human atrocity. Deliberately breeding an animal for deformity. It's despicable, to say the least.

I'm aware that nature sometimes produces a deformity and Munchkins originally appeared as feral cats in the UK. They eventually died out in the wild, but people thought they were cute, so continued to breed for that particular mutation. A natural deformity is a rare occurrence, and feral/wild animals often don't survive because of it. Which is ultimately a good thing, so they don't pass on their mutation.

Breeding cats in general is just stupid. It's like the breeders are completely unaware of the number of cats in shelters and on the streets. Or that they just don't care.

I'm not as opposed to breeding rare breeds like Abyssinians and Burmillas. In moderation. Moderation is the key word.

I'm also going to pick on the irresponsible sons of a bitches who don't spay or neuter their cat(s) and just let them reproduce like bunny rabbits. That's why you see free kittens advertised in the paper all the time.

I will never ever ever buy a cat. As much as I love Turkish Angoras, I would never buy one. It would be pretty awesome if I came across one in a shelter one day, but that's a one in a million chance. There are still plenty of young, pretty kittens waiting for homes. I did see a beautiful white kitten with one blue and one green eye that I would have taken home in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, everyone else in my family are dog people, and it wouldn't have gone over well.
Darn. I had a name picked out and everything. She was pretty.
The kittens always go fast, though, so I'm pretty sure she got a home. :)

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

This has been bothering me for a while.

The fact that Physical Education is mandatory.

Some kids just aren't athletic. Not that they shouldn't exercise, but grading them on their physical abilities? They can't help the fact that they aren't as good at sports as the other kids. I was one of those kids. Me and my group of non-athletic friends spent the class dodging various projectiles that hurt like hell if they hit you. Footballs, baseballs, especially dodge balls. I hated dodge ball with a fiery passion.

Especially in high school. Senior boys throw hard. It was enough to leave a nice little welt if you were hit. I was only a Freshman at the time. It was hardly fair.

But what made the class all the more unbearable was the teacher. I loath him to this day. He was a egotistical, sexist, steroid-loving whack job who hated the non-athletic kids. He seemed to think sports were a way of life and it was fucking blasphemy to suck at dodge ball. He loved dodge ball. He made us play it on a regular basis. I think he found it profoundly amusing every time the "wimps" got nailed. He didn't like any of the girls much, either, hence the sexist-ness. He just had this aggravating arrogance, like he thought he was too good for any of us (except the uber talented athletes, of course). I fancied shoving a hockey stick down his throat several times. Jerk.

And then we have the other extreme. I remember her well. She was my elementary school PE teacher. A fat ass, ex-smoker who preached the importance of exercise and how sedentary lifestyles were heresy. Where the bloody hell does she get off spewing physical education down our throats when the bitch can hardly talk without wheezing like an asthmatic cow? I'd love to see her resume. Did the school even have her fill out an application before they hired her or were they so understaffed that they hired the first person that came along who could blow a whistle? She was an absolute joke.

I hated gym class. My sympathy goes out to all the kids who are still subject to its torment.

PE needs to be an elective.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Not-So-Perfect Horse Ranch.

This fugly little filly is going for $600. She's a Standardbred x Paint cross. (WTF is up with that combo? And why does the baby have a saddle on?) And here's were the irony comes in. The place is called Perfect Horse Ranch.

Their definition of perfect must not include decent pedigrees and conformation. Everywhere you look on their website, it's fugly after fugly. It's like a nightmare. Apparently they are completely unaware that the well conformed, show-quality purebreds aren't selling right now.

These guys offer training services, too. Isn't it everyone's dream to stand up on our horses' backs? That's really something to aspire to. So amazing. Not.

I hate it when people do that. It does no good for the horse. It looks stupid. It's not good for their backs.
You don't see Beezie standing up on Authentic like a freakin idiot going, "My horse is soo well trained! Isn't he AWSUM?!". It's all useless theatrics. When would you ever need that in a real situation? Dipshits.

I think this photo says it all.

Yeah, I would TOTALLY send my horse here for training.

This chick is asking for a fractured skull. The first time that horse spooks, it's all over. It only takes once.
No horse is "bombproof". All horses spook. Some not as easily as others, but they are prey animals. Therefor they're unpredictable and no horse is guaranteed to stay still while you freakin crawl under his belly and crouch down under him. I can see this girl's future kids. "Hey mommy, I wanna play house. Lightning can be the house!"

Fugly Standardbred x Hackney, again with a girl lounging carelessly between her feet. This right here is the epitome of of brainlessness and bad parenting. My mother would have beaten me silly if she'd found me sitting under a horse. I'd be ready to bet that it was mom or dad who took this photo. WTF are they thinking? That's a 1000 pound prey animal with four sharp little hooves that your daughter is lying under! HELLO! What are you going to do the first time a horse bolts while your kid is under his belly? There's sure as hell nothing you could do to stop it once it happens.

This is just the picture you'd want on the homepage of your website that advertises training services.

Honestly? So many riders spend so much time teaching their horse not to rear. It's the most dangerous vice a horse can have.

Trick horses, fine. Their owners are *usually* experienced and know what they're doing. But that's a girl in that picture. She's what? 14? And if you enlarge the picture, you'll notice the horse's ears pinned back. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

It says they offer breeding services, too, but there's no info about it. (Great wedsite, huh?) I'm scared to know what their breeding stock looks like.

These folks obviously have more money than brains. They've got what looks like a really nice facility. The fencing is intact, the paint isn't peeling, the pastures are ginormous, it just looks neat and well kept.
It's on 67 acres. What I wouldn't give for that much land. Could you imagine what a responsible breeder could do with that place?

I'd like to know why these guys have this nice setup yet all their horses are so uncomely. (No wonder they're selling them for dirt cheap, right?) And why they allow kids to use the horses as jungle jims.

I've encountered my fair share of reckless/stupid horsepeople, and it amazes me how they manage to skid out of danger by the skin on their teeth. But sooner or later, something's going to happen and it's not going to be pretty.

For instance, there's a lady at my barn. We'll call her C. Well, C claims she's been around horses all her life. Fine. But she's a textbook know-it-all. She really doesn't have a clue. She rides like a freaking Neanderthal and leaves her horses unattended in the arena while fully tacked. She's even had both her little kids on a green Arab with no helmets. And she's ridden a horse that had a popped splint. She started giving lessons to beginners a few months ago, on horses that are less than beginner-friendly. She's had four months worth of lessons and she thinks she knows it all. Yes, she's an absolute dolt. I can't stand her. But I'm not the barn owner. It's not my place to speak up. (The barn owner loves her, by the way. They're pals.) But the thing is, C pulls all this crap and nothing's ever happened to her (or her kids). I can't believe she's never gotten hurt. She's put several horses in unsafe situations and she's the reason that one horse popped a splint. She drives me crazy. But I can't do anything about it. So woe is me. Oh, well.

It just baffles me that I've been injured by horses plenty of times and I'm far more cautious and knowledgeable than she is. There are lots of people at my barn that are 10 times more competent than her and they've had their share of cuts and bruises. It defies all logic.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Someone clue me in.

Hunter Under Saddle is like the Western Pleasure of the English world, yes? Although I will say HUS horses are a little livelier. A little. There's still a lot of similarity.

It's a big time, fancy-shmancy discipline. Then explain to me why so many HUS riders have horrendous equitation.
Look how forward she is. She's way ahead of the vertical. Her shoulders aren't even open. The horse looks pretty forward, too.

And that dreaded uber-low head carriage. I hate that. And again with those fake tails! I can't stand them. Gross.

More HUS hideousness.

That rider's heels aren't down. She's forward. And the overall appearance is just sloppy. Every single one of them. If you watch them post, their legs are all over the place. Some of them have their heels up. Some have a way shallow seat. My trainer would eat me alive if I rode like that. She already nearly bites my head off when I go into 2-point too early. (It's kinda funny and scary at the same time. I can envision little devil horns appearing every time I do something wrong. lawlz. ) I'm not implying that I think I'm perfect. I know I'm not an amazing rider. But at least my weight is down in my heels.

This rider is all toe. No weight in the heels. She was actually sitting up straight, but the horse looked pretty front heavy. Why is this acceptable? You don't see respectable jumpers riding like that. Their legs are always tight and they're sitting on the vertical. And the horses are looking forward instead of at the ground! Imagine that. I don't understand the attraction.

Did a Skittles factory explode?

Seriously. Who buys a puke orange saddle? I can handle funky colored synthetic bridles and polo wraps, but a saddle? I would be ashamed to be seen in any of these.

Can we say gaudy? How do these retailers make any money selling these ghastly-looking things?

I guess parents would buy a hot pink one for their little Barbie-loving cowgirl. She'll grow out of that stage in a couple years anyway and start asking for a havannah show saddle with silver embellishments.

I can't imagine these on a horse. And I thought my orange-ish imitation-leather western saddle from Farm & Fleet was in bad taste. It doesn't look so bad now that I've seen these.