"Now I say that with cruelty and oppression it is everybody's business to interfere when they see it."

~Anna Sewell

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Not-So-Perfect Horse Ranch.

This fugly little filly is going for $600. She's a Standardbred x Paint cross. (WTF is up with that combo? And why does the baby have a saddle on?) And here's were the irony comes in. The place is called Perfect Horse Ranch.

Their definition of perfect must not include decent pedigrees and conformation. Everywhere you look on their website, it's fugly after fugly. It's like a nightmare. Apparently they are completely unaware that the well conformed, show-quality purebreds aren't selling right now.

These guys offer training services, too. Isn't it everyone's dream to stand up on our horses' backs? That's really something to aspire to. So amazing. Not.

I hate it when people do that. It does no good for the horse. It looks stupid. It's not good for their backs.
You don't see Beezie standing up on Authentic like a freakin idiot going, "My horse is soo well trained! Isn't he AWSUM?!". It's all useless theatrics. When would you ever need that in a real situation? Dipshits.

I think this photo says it all.

Yeah, I would TOTALLY send my horse here for training.

This chick is asking for a fractured skull. The first time that horse spooks, it's all over. It only takes once.
No horse is "bombproof". All horses spook. Some not as easily as others, but they are prey animals. Therefor they're unpredictable and no horse is guaranteed to stay still while you freakin crawl under his belly and crouch down under him. I can see this girl's future kids. "Hey mommy, I wanna play house. Lightning can be the house!"

Fugly Standardbred x Hackney, again with a girl lounging carelessly between her feet. This right here is the epitome of of brainlessness and bad parenting. My mother would have beaten me silly if she'd found me sitting under a horse. I'd be ready to bet that it was mom or dad who took this photo. WTF are they thinking? That's a 1000 pound prey animal with four sharp little hooves that your daughter is lying under! HELLO! What are you going to do the first time a horse bolts while your kid is under his belly? There's sure as hell nothing you could do to stop it once it happens.

This is just the picture you'd want on the homepage of your website that advertises training services.

Honestly? So many riders spend so much time teaching their horse not to rear. It's the most dangerous vice a horse can have.

Trick horses, fine. Their owners are *usually* experienced and know what they're doing. But that's a girl in that picture. She's what? 14? And if you enlarge the picture, you'll notice the horse's ears pinned back. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

It says they offer breeding services, too, but there's no info about it. (Great wedsite, huh?) I'm scared to know what their breeding stock looks like.

These folks obviously have more money than brains. They've got what looks like a really nice facility. The fencing is intact, the paint isn't peeling, the pastures are ginormous, it just looks neat and well kept.
It's on 67 acres. What I wouldn't give for that much land. Could you imagine what a responsible breeder could do with that place?

I'd like to know why these guys have this nice setup yet all their horses are so uncomely. (No wonder they're selling them for dirt cheap, right?) And why they allow kids to use the horses as jungle jims.

I've encountered my fair share of reckless/stupid horsepeople, and it amazes me how they manage to skid out of danger by the skin on their teeth. But sooner or later, something's going to happen and it's not going to be pretty.

For instance, there's a lady at my barn. We'll call her C. Well, C claims she's been around horses all her life. Fine. But she's a textbook know-it-all. She really doesn't have a clue. She rides like a freaking Neanderthal and leaves her horses unattended in the arena while fully tacked. She's even had both her little kids on a green Arab with no helmets. And she's ridden a horse that had a popped splint. She started giving lessons to beginners a few months ago, on horses that are less than beginner-friendly. She's had four months worth of lessons and she thinks she knows it all. Yes, she's an absolute dolt. I can't stand her. But I'm not the barn owner. It's not my place to speak up. (The barn owner loves her, by the way. They're pals.) But the thing is, C pulls all this crap and nothing's ever happened to her (or her kids). I can't believe she's never gotten hurt. She's put several horses in unsafe situations and she's the reason that one horse popped a splint. She drives me crazy. But I can't do anything about it. So woe is me. Oh, well.

It just baffles me that I've been injured by horses plenty of times and I'm far more cautious and knowledgeable than she is. There are lots of people at my barn that are 10 times more competent than her and they've had their share of cuts and bruises. It defies all logic.


  1. Those pictures are extremely irrisponsible and stupid. It's true about the land I would love to have a place like that where I can ride an keep my horses! Although these people arn't the brightest doesn't mean you call the horses fugly! When people think of horses yes they say beautiful majestic animals that are strong and sifisticated. When they think of horses they think of pure breds and national icons like balck beauty and hidalgo. To me a horse shouldn't be judged on there apperiance their breed or anything else! You may she a horse like the filly above and say things like "fugly" and "bad combo" but i see more! I see great potential for an amazing companion and beauty beyond all measures with in. A simple gaze into their eyes and you can feel the warm and tender love from their hearts and souls. Here is a story for you (TRUE): I work on a rescue ranch and you wouldn't believe how terrible this place is! The only reason i show up is to give the horses hope. I want to do more for them because it just isn't fair that all of these horses have to get out down because no one wants a "fugly" or "bad combo" horse! One afternoon a extremely skinny and dehydrated Clysdale came in. she was blind in her right eye and was not fitting in with the other horses. She obviously rubbed at her skin and her coat was falling out. No one ever approched her, not even the other mares in the pasture and she would constantly be bullied by the others. One day it was pooring down rain and she was shooed away from the trees by the mares and so she stood alone out in the rain grazing. I ran out barefoot and then slowed down trying not to spook her. Her face was surrounded by flies. her eyes were watering and it looked like she had been crying. I began stroking her face and she leaned into me. I felt over welmed by her true beauty and remained out there with her until th erain stopped. I had been slipping over at that ranch to help out and so i was there with her all hours for a whole week. I got the numbers of some of the other volunteers to keep in touch. One of the girls boards her horse there so she is there almost everyday. About a week or 2 later i got a text message from her saying "guess what?" I responded "what?" and then came devistating news. The Clysdale named sophie had passed away. The owner of the ranch said that she might have had a heart attack. So I began reading online and checking to see if anything matched up. When you take a horse in (a rescue that is underweight) you are suppose to feed it specially so that the horse gets use to the food and doesn't go into shock. They fed her plain pellet the average amount for a clysdale and I had descovered that sophie died of heart failure. So the next time you are about to call a horse "fugly" just remember sophie!!!!

  2. Well actually those kids are the trainers. They own the horses that are mostly all rescue horses. As for being underneath the horse, yes there is always a chance that the horse may spook and they could get hurt but I would feel much safer with a horse that if a kid ran underneath it that the horse wouldn't be spooked by that. It is the same concept of all horse training. Just because you got your horse to stop spooking from a plastic bag doesn't mean that he won't be some other time but chances are he won't. As for the picture of the girl and the rearing horse she is 18 in that pic if I remember correctly not 14 and definately no less than 16. By the sounds of it you are an English rider or just do it for pleasure which is fine, but these girls train the horses for things that you would need for western style riding as well as trick horses. Many people can use these horses including police/sheriff posses. There is no such thing as too much training. And a horse is never to young to have a saddle on, it helps them get used to it. Just because there is a saddle on the horse doesn't mean that they are being ridden.

  3. I have to agree with all these comments, some more then others. The first comment by raccoon is what I would like to comment mostly on. Fugly uh? So all those cross breeds in your local pound wagging their tails hoping to be loved deserve to be referred as "WTF" and "fugly"? You ought to be ashamed of your closed minded self. Give me a mutt of a horse that isn't conformationally exact or has no fricking papers that will love me and take me on the same trails then a horse that left my bank account empty and his papers cluttering my junk drawer. I agree with the standing under the horses. I am a sheriff deputy and trust me I see so many acts that aren't the brightest however when done by adults its their life and possibly their injuries to be had. And the blonde is all adult. I have met her and she is intelligent and has a passion that she is good at. I have no clue about the C lady, didn't meet her. The saddle thing any one knows get stuff on their backs asap. In my opinion your trying to deter business from them and plant concerns into less knowledgable people with that part of your email. I am not a friend nor enemy of this ranch. Just someone who assisted a heartbroken friend drop a horse "Heza" she had to sell (and be trained) one day. People need to go out and meet this young lady and the Sophie's she has offered for sale and form their own opinion.