Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Not-So-Perfect Horse Ranch.
This fugly little filly is going for $600. She's a Standardbred x Paint cross. (WTF is up with that combo? And why does the baby have a saddle on?) And here's were the irony comes in. The place is called Perfect Horse Ranch.
Their definition of perfect must not include decent pedigrees and conformation. Everywhere you look on their website, it's fugly after fugly. It's like a nightmare. Apparently they are completely unaware that the well conformed, show-quality purebreds aren't selling right now.
These guys offer training services, too. Isn't it everyone's dream to stand up on our horses' backs? That's really something to aspire to. So amazing. Not.
I hate it when people do that. It does no good for the horse. It looks stupid. It's not good for their backs.
You don't see Beezie standing up on Authentic like a freakin idiot going, "My horse is soo well trained! Isn't he AWSUM?!". It's all useless theatrics. When would you ever need that in a real situation? Dipshits.
I think this photo says it all.
Yeah, I would TOTALLY send my horse here for training.
This chick is asking for a fractured skull. The first time that horse spooks, it's all over. It only takes once.
No horse is "bombproof". All horses spook. Some not as easily as others, but they are prey animals. Therefor they're unpredictable and no horse is guaranteed to stay still while you freakin crawl under his belly and crouch down under him. I can see this girl's future kids. "Hey mommy, I wanna play house. Lightning can be the house!"
Fugly Standardbred x Hackney, again with a girl lounging carelessly between her feet. This right here is the epitome of of brainlessness and bad parenting. My mother would have beaten me silly if she'd found me sitting under a horse. I'd be ready to bet that it was mom or dad who took this photo. WTF are they thinking? That's a 1000 pound prey animal with four sharp little hooves that your daughter is lying under! HELLO! What are you going to do the first time a horse bolts while your kid is under his belly? There's sure as hell nothing you could do to stop it once it happens.
This is just the picture you'd want on the homepage of your website that advertises training services.
Honestly? So many riders spend so much time teaching their horse not to rear. It's the most dangerous vice a horse can have.
Trick horses, fine. Their owners are *usually* experienced and know what they're doing. But that's a girl in that picture. She's what? 14? And if you enlarge the picture, you'll notice the horse's ears pinned back. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
It says they offer breeding services, too, but there's no info about it. (Great wedsite, huh?) I'm scared to know what their breeding stock looks like.
These folks obviously have more money than brains. They've got what looks like a really nice facility. The fencing is intact, the paint isn't peeling, the pastures are ginormous, it just looks neat and well kept.
It's on 67 acres. What I wouldn't give for that much land. Could you imagine what a responsible breeder could do with that place?
I'd like to know why these guys have this nice setup yet all their horses are so uncomely. (No wonder they're selling them for dirt cheap, right?) And why they allow kids to use the horses as jungle jims.
I've encountered my fair share of reckless/stupid horsepeople, and it amazes me how they manage to skid out of danger by the skin on their teeth. But sooner or later, something's going to happen and it's not going to be pretty.
For instance, there's a lady at my barn. We'll call her C. Well, C claims she's been around horses all her life. Fine. But she's a textbook know-it-all. She really doesn't have a clue. She rides like a freaking Neanderthal and leaves her horses unattended in the arena while fully tacked. She's even had both her little kids on a green Arab with no helmets. And she's ridden a horse that had a popped splint. She started giving lessons to beginners a few months ago, on horses that are less than beginner-friendly. She's had four months worth of lessons and she thinks she knows it all. Yes, she's an absolute dolt. I can't stand her. But I'm not the barn owner. It's not my place to speak up. (The barn owner loves her, by the way. They're pals.) But the thing is, C pulls all this crap and nothing's ever happened to her (or her kids). I can't believe she's never gotten hurt. She's put several horses in unsafe situations and she's the reason that one horse popped a splint. She drives me crazy. But I can't do anything about it. So woe is me. Oh, well.
It just baffles me that I've been injured by horses plenty of times and I'm far more cautious and knowledgeable than she is. There are lots of people at my barn that are 10 times more competent than her and they've had their share of cuts and bruises. It defies all logic.